WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO guys !
I just had my first illustration published in an actual magazine !
How exciting is that ? I am absolutely thrilled to bits !!
Ok so to many illustrators out there this would be no big deal particularly, maybe even run of the mill... but guess what! To me it is a huge deal and I will tell you why !
When you decide to up and leave all you have ever known and move your family to a different country there is a mix of emotions. These fluctuate, flipping and flopping from excitement and determination to fear and grief. The stress is huge and you will always wonder if you did the right thing... I often have little outbursts of panic and worry about the decisions we have made (usually when I am tired or frustrated with something) and whether or not they really were the best for all of us. I should add that these small blips are just that... small blips ! It doesn't take long for me to realise that yes, life is better here for all of us and that it is perfectly normal to have your heart suddenly leap into your throat every now and again with doubt, but seeing the opportunities that we have here soon helps me say goodbye to those negative thoughts.
One fabulous example of that is the fact that I have an illustration in a magazine... a real one... with pages and everything !!!!!
You see, one thing that I have come to learn by emigrating is that I am a lot braver than I ever thought I was and in turn maybe just maybe I am more capable too . Back in the UK I had my own small business as a holistic therapist and I loved nothing more than welcoming my fantastic clients (who became friends) in to my treatment room where we would firstly put the worlds to rights, have a good giggle or indeed a good cry if need be and then focus on the task in hand, getting them back to feeling like the calmer, more balanced and refreshed version of themselves. I have always taken great pleasure in helping people. When the pandemic hit I started drawing and painting again and sold many pieces just through social media to friends and friends of friends and it awoke a part of me that had long been sleeping... my truly creative side.
Had we of stayed in England I am pretty sure I would have just continued with my therapies and pampering people and I would have enjoyed that tremendously, don't get me wrong BUT having a fresh start often gets the old cogs whirring doesn't it ? And sure enough my brain started ticking along with new ideas.
What if you could do anything you wanted ? Any job in the whole world, what would you choose ? And that is the question I asked myself. After 20+ years in the same kind of job I was ready for a change... I wanted to draw, paint and create and get paid for it !!!
And so that is what I have been working towards. It has been a slow process and one I didn't fully start putting into action until the end of April this year when I registered as self employed. And it remains to be a long job... but that's just it, this is now my job and I have to put some self belief and dedication into it ! Sure I am not bringing in a wage yet and sure I often think to myself that I should pack it in and get a 'proper' job but I am doing it !! If you are reading this then I have finally gotten the website launched and although that isn't perfect and the shop won't launch until a little later .. I am doing it !!
My biggest challenge is giving my new job the hours it both needs and deserves, something I really struggle with but if I want this to work then I really need to fix that.
And so this illustration is not just a page in a magazine, it's a real turning point, it's a pat on the back and it is proof that I can do it... and I will !! Sometimes the scariest bit is just jumping in both feet first and saying YES when your negative mind monsters are telling you to say no. Once you jump in it's really not that bad... infact it is pretty flipping exciting.
*I just want to say a huge, gigantic and heartfelt thankyou to everyone on my social media who took time out to send a love heart or thumbs up and a big kiss to those who commented with congratulations when I announced that I was in the magazine. I can not believe how truly kind, thoughtful, warm and wonderful you all are and I am so,so,so grateful to have such a great bunch cheering me on.
And thankyou to my beautiful family and best friend for all your love, support and encouragement. I am sure I would have given up a long time ago if it wasn't for all of you.
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